Where are all the men?
So I went for a walk in Noe Valley, and decided to buy something easy and nice to cook for tonight’s dinner. (You have to remember that cooking is a chore for me, so basically went for frozen vegetables and pad thai). Actually I was looking for Ramen noodles, you know the 25cents ones, that are ready in 2minutes? Turns out Whole Foods is not the right place for that. It’s like everything there is screaming at you “Lazy fat b***! You’re going to cook some proper food or die tryin!”. Anyway, I spotted a ridiculously good looking Whole Foods employee and asked him for some help. Bingo!
1. Whole Foods… They’re not all gay.
European accent (German?), a body to die for, crazy smile, I suddenly realized Ramen noodles could be a very sexy subject of conversation. Me: “No, I’m looking for the, you know, traditional ramen type?” And there he goes, looking through all the shelves at Whole Foods and I’m trotting behind him, definitely watching his every move like a creep. Honestly, hard to say if he was straight or not, but I would say 50/50. Which is not bad. For customers though, you can forget about it (unless you’re really really lucky). Then I kept wandering around in the aisles, with a puzzled look on my face (lost customer needs help!) waiting for him to come back. You can actually spot the creeper type (which I belong to, sadly) at grocery stores because they (we) all wander around with that weird look, and we end up buying a bunch of items that we have no use for. Moving on!
2. Apple Store!
That should of course be number one. Well you do get the nerdy type (it can be your thing or not) BUT I think it’s one of the best places. Granted, the only really hot guy that I met at Apple Store was in New York City. I was wearing that animal hat, Lion King style, and a mini skirt, didn’t even notice him while walking in until he approached me to ask about my hat, and started telling me how nice it looked on me. Caught off guard, I didn’t react until after I got out, and realized he might be the one. I fought the urge to go back in immediately to ask for his number, and by the time I mustered the courage to go back, he was nowhere to be found. I stared at all the Apple Store employees with my friend, who was being very supportive, and the plan was that she’d buy earphones so that we could talk to him again. Luckily or not, we didn’t have to put said plan into practice “but I don’t need new earphones” – never mind!” since he never reappeared. Until now, I think of him as my New York soul mate.
3. Cafes
If you get tired of the A/nerds, B/douchebags (not naming any neighborhoods) just look around and start paying attention to the people who serve you everyday… That’s right, servers! Your Starbucks Coffee, or just the cafe where you buy your everyday lunch. My lunch is made by this steamy hot guy who smiles at me every afternoon like I’m the only girl in the world. Definitely straight. Only problem is how do you approach them? They’re so busy with customers. Well I will tell you once I try, but the plan is to go back a little later for coffee (ideally bring a friend) and casually start conversation, or just forget something on purpose and go back later!
My best friend here definitely got hit on by one of the hottest Spanish guys in the city. We were getting chocolate cake at this cafe in the Marina, around 11pm, and the owner/server was so beautiful we immediately thought he was gay. Until he told her she was the prettiest girl he’d seen in a while and asked her out. Dammit servers are the way to go guys!!
To be continued…
Need the name and address of the Marina Cafe! ASAP!
Your blog posts are very funny and entertaining, I’m always waiting for the next one. Give your readers more posts!!
Apple STORRREEE!!!